Published on October 10th, 2019 | by minshewnetworks0
How to confront a cheating partner?
You’ve had your suspicions for quite some time now, and now you finally know: Your partner has been cheating on you. You may have found that out through an app to spy on your partner, a friend who saw your partner with somebody else, or you must have noticed a difference in your partner’s behavior. Whatever the case is, it doesn’t change the fact that your partner cheated.
Now that you know and are absolutely sure of your partner’s action, the first thing you feel is shock and numbness. You can’t believe it, because you thought they were the one. Your world has turned upside down. After the initial wave of shock, you feel anger, resentment, and hate towards your partner. You could not have expected your partner to hurt you this way—by cheating on you with someone else. You may feel heartbroken and hopeless at this point. No matter what the case is, you are disturbed and appalled by your significant other’s actions; because, you thought they were better than this
When a person is in such a state, a marriage and family therapist suggests that you write down your feelings and emotions. This is supposed to help with letting out the flood of emotions.
Before confronting your partner
Before you confront your partner, make sure that your suspicion has value. Gather evidence such as hotel bill, pictures, or testimonials from close friends and family members. You can also use an app to spy on your partner to confirm your suspicions. Once you are sure, you need time to process and make sense of what is going on. After feelings of hurt and anger have subdued, you need to consider your partner’s actions and the motive for disloyalty. Do you blame your partner for cheating? Do you consider your relationship as devoid of true and sincere feelings for one another? Were you having a lot of arguments and fights? Did you expect something like this to happen? If you did, then why? Did your partner feel that something was lacking in your relationship?
As easy it is to say, it is even harder to follow this advice: Stay calm. Despite how bleak things seem; it is necessary for you to be level-headed. You are not in an emotionally stable state at the moment. You need to spend some time to think about how you want the relationship to go on. You need to prioritize your own feelings and what you want from the relationship moving onwards.
Do you want to stay or leave? Either way, it is tough! If you’re choosing to stay, it means that you’re prepared to forgive your partner. It also means that you are willing to put in the effort to rebuild your relationship. You want to give your partner a chance because you believe they will do the right thing in the future.
On the other hand, leaving your partner means starting anew. You don’t think your partner deserves a chance and that you want out. It would set you free, but you may also crave the security and comfort of a relationship. On the upside, it means that you have a new chance at finding a partner who would be trustworthy.
Before making your decision, consider what your partner wants from the relationship. Also, consider if they would want to work on the relationship or finish it off. And if you have kids, their well-being is also thrown into the equation.
Whatever your reasoning is, make sure that it is a positive step forward for you, your partner and your relationship. As much as leaving a relationship is hard, often finishing it can bring a sense of relief on both sides.
So choose carefully!
Confronting your partner
Now comes the hard part—confronting your partner. Remember that being calm and composed will stop things from escalating and will help you come to a conclusion.
When confronting your partner, make sure that your environment is free from distractions. It is difficult to not show anger. But, it is imperative that you do so. Because the first reaction of your partner when you confront them is going to be denial. They will deny being in an affair and cheating on you. They may even go to extreme lengths to protect themselves. You can present the facts using evidence that you gathered from an app to spy on your partner.
However, if you expect what your partner will likely do in a confrontation, you will be able to handle the situation better. Tell them about your suspicions and what led you to find out the truth. Be straight-forward. After you present the facts, they may be apologetic for their behavior or downright think that they were right to do so.
For a cheater, getting busted is their worst nightmare. So give your partner some time to think things over. Ask them how serious they were with the affair, and if they intended to tell you about it or not. Ask your partner if they are willing to put an effort into the relationship.
If they are sorry about their behavior, they need to prove it with their actions. Before making your final decision, give some time for things to settle down. Talk things out with your partner about how they want to move onwards with their relationship. If you feel like there is no point in staying because of what your partner did, then leave.
However, if you see some potential in your relationship working out, then you could consider staying. But, remember, you get to decide what action you want to take. It is easy to fall in a trap when your thinking is hazy and when you’re not emotionally stable. Ask friends and family for help. Seek help from a counselor if you can.