Published on June 6th, 2018 | by gareth0
Rifftrax Rips Space Mutiny At A Cinema Near You
Looking forward to getting this covered as it is always great fun. Make sure to check out a show near you.
In advance of 1988’s hilariously bad sci-fi epic “Space Mutiny” coming cinemas across the nation on June 14 & 19 with “RiffTrax Live: Space Mutiny,” RiffTrax’s Mike, Kevin, and Bill (of Mystery Science Theater 3000® fame), have penned a list on 1988’s highest-grossing pictures. The list is approved for posting for your readers.
1. “Rain Man”
- Mike: Tom Cruise did a great job playing The Most 80’s Guy Who Ever Lived. His sunglasses are even more 80’s than the Guy Who Wore His Sunglasses at Night.
- Kevin: Originally titled Ocean’s Two, Danny Rainman (Tom Cruise) assembles a team of experts (Dustin Hoffman) to beat Vegas at its own game.
- Bill: Decent movie, but a personal curse: I can’t think of it without picturing Judge Wapner in jockey shorts. Why did you hurt me, RAIN MAN??
2. “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”
- Mike: A great movie tainted by the scandalous off-screen antics of co-star Jessica Rabbit, whose affairs with The Energizer Bunny and then The Nesquik Rabbit, and of course the incident of the “accidental” shooting of the Trix rabbit, really make it hard to enjoy.
- Kevin: One of Robert Zemekis’ best films, and far better than the 2007 remake, Beowulf.
- Bill: If I recall correctly, started as a serious sequel to CHINATOWN and changed a whole lot in development. The main thing that stayed from the original script: the character of Droopy Dog.
3. “Coming to America”
- Mike: An ok movie, a MUCH better song by Neil Diamond.
- Kevin: Boy, he certainly did Come the HELL out of To America, didn’t he?
- Bill: Eddie Murphy plays the crown prince of a fictional African nation who comes to some other place (hard to remember where without seeing it again). He also plays a host of other characters, including a sidekick named “Arsenio Hall.”
- Mike: I have no opinion on the movie but I will tell you that Robert Loggia once punched me in the face at a party where I offered him $20 to dance on the host’s grand piano.
- Kevin: It really made me cry, that scene where Tom Hanks spat out all that caviar.
- Bill: This is the story of a 12-year-old boy who is granted his wish to become beloved, multiple award-winning international movie star Tom Hanks. It ends with the boy praying to be released from this very wish after making A HOLOGRAM FOR THE KING.
- Mike: I went to the theater expecting a story about Kirby Puckett, Kent Hrbek, Gary Gaetti, and Burt Blyleven. Instead I get this weird story starring some Austrian and the guy from “Taxi.”
- Kevin: Here’s my blurb: “Twins! The 1988 movie that I didn’t see the most!”
- Bill: The title does not lie. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito play twins. Ha ha? And while I make a lot of stuff up, this is 100% true: as I write this, in 2018, a sequel is in the works: TRIPLETS. Ha ha… ha?
6. “Crocodile Dundee II”
- Mike: The greatest movie ever made about a guy who judges your cutlery.
- Kevin: Ah yes, most memorable for the scene in which Paul Hogan dresses down a rogue pack of escapees from the “Beat It” video. I don’t remember another damn thing about the movie.
- Bill: RiffTrax is deeply indebted to this movie-length consideration of what is and is not a knife. Groundbreaking. Necessary. Pointy.
7. “Die Hard”
- Mike: It’s no Die Hard: A Good Day to Die Hard, Die Hard: Live Free or Die Hard, Die Hard: Die Hard with a Vengeance, or Die Hard 2, but it’s ok.
- Kevin: I live in an alternate universe where the rest of the franchise kept going with Alan Rickman as the star, and it was WAY better.
- Bill: There’s been a lot of debate in recent years as to whether or not DIE HARD is a Christmas movie. I say it is, and also the Christmas movie with the second greatest body count, after WHITE CHRISTMAS (director’s cut).
8. “The Naked Gun”
- Mike: Man, that O.J. guy was funny but then he got a big head and thought he could make anything funny. Not true. Not true at all.
- Kevin: So great to see George Kennedy revisit his Oscar-winning character from Cool Hand Luke, or maybe I saw this movie on Ambien.
- Bill: There’s very little nudity in this movie, as it turns out. Disappointing. Then again, the star is Leslie Nielsen, who I’ve seen shirtless fighting a bear in the movie DAY OF THE ANIMALS. That was probably enough.
- Mike: Eh, it’s ok, but it stars Bryan Brown, my fifth favorite Australian after, of course, Crocodile Dundee and Olly, Syd and Millie, the mascots of the 2000 Sydney Olympics.
- Kevin: I’d love to see this baby updated starring gents with handlebar mustaches building artisanal cocktails with house-made bitters, then simply throwing them at their customers. Now THAT’S a movie.
- Bill: Haha, remember back in the 80s when you went out drinking with friends and the whole night was about gathering around to watch some cool bartender flipping bottles around? Yeah, me neither. This movie is science fiction.
- Mike: It’s somewhat ironic that star Alec Baldwin is now a ghost who haunts us and simply won’t go away.
- Kevin: I still have bruises about the head and neck from being pummeled repeatedly by the Danny Elfman score.
- Bill: The grotesque monster in this movie is played by Michael Keaton, now beloved by all. The handsome hero is played by Alec Baldwin, now a grotesque monster. Life. It’s funny, and stuff.